THE PROS AND CONS of personal relationships in the workplace.

Did you know that, according to a 2017 study, over 57% of working people ask themselves this very question. Why? Well, because – again according to research – the workplace is one of the places where we are most likely to meet a suitable partner. To illustrate – 15% of people meet their partner exactly there.

This fact is probably not all that surprising – at work we spend 8, sometimes 10 (or more) hours a day. What is more – these are our most active hours of the day. By comparison – with our family, or our friends, in the best-case scenario and provided we live close to one another, we spend considerably less time together. Probably not even every day.

The community of colleagues is one in which everyone can be themselves (sooner or later we relax around “these strangers”, and let us be frank – it is exhausting to be someone else for 8 hours a day. Every day.). Before the eyes of our colleagues we grow, succeed and fail. We surpass ourselves, or conversely – we lose ourselves under the pressure of stress. Whatever the case, our colleagues are the ones who witness our authentic emotions. With some we even share emotions mutually. Which inevitably leads to closeness, friendships, or something more …

As we well know – people get along well with “their own kind”. And the chance of meeting such people at our workplace is quite high. At the very least – it is very likely that among our colleagues there are some with whom we share similar interests, level of education, social status, as well as something very important these days – that we live a reasonable distance from one another! Ah, and how attractive we become to those around us when we are good at what we do. Or, even better, imagine the following situation: You come up with SOMETHING NEW. Be it a solution to a business problem; an optimised working method; or whatever. Your self-confidence, your Ego, rise. Your aura changes. The radar of those around you picks up these changes. Believe me.

So, let us return to the dilemma.. If among your colleagues there is someone who attracts you – whether through their presence, their success, their smile, or their physique.. you are most likely asking yourself this question too. Should you ask them out on a date?

But what if it does not work out? But what if it does?? Do you really like them, or is it just a passing infatuation? Can you afford an intimate relationship in the workplace? What happens if you date for a while, but then it does not work out? Can you handle the situation if you are rejected? Can you handle the situation maturely, regardless of whether you are accepted or rejected? Accordingly, if things work out and you enter a relationship – should you tell anyone? For example, the Human Resources manager. Another matter is what exactly to say… How will the rest of the team react? And what if the colleague in question, with whom you are considering entering an intimate relationship, is your manager, or indeed your subordinate? What happens in that case?

The questions turned out to be more than one. If you (already) are not asking yourself them, but are in a relationship with a colleague and have found an optimal and painless way, for all parties concerned – you, your colleague and the organisation, for this to happen – write to us with ideas! Or publish a handbook! For the rest, I will share some good practices, better known abroad than here:

Did you know that many companies have introduced the so-called “Love Contract”, or “Love Contract”, which employees of an organisation sign when entering a romantic relationship with a colleague. It is based primarily on the following:

• The two employees enter this relationship voluntarily.
• No one subjects anyone to sexual harassment.
• There is a clause regarding the hierarchical dependency between the two – if one is subordinate to the other, upon entering a relationship, the one in the higher position is obliged to change their position. Do you think this condition is applicable here?
• Information on whom to turn to in case of discrimination or harassment.
• Information regarding “What is considered indecent/unacceptable behaviour within the organisation”. Example: terms of endearment such as “bunny”, “kitten”, hugs and kisses are best kept behind closed doors.
• It is clearly stated that the personal relationship between the colleagues in question must not affect their work, nor the inter-team relationships and processes.

But do these relationships really affect no one? To be honest with you, I can think of at least two people who will be directly affected by the romantic relationship. Whose butterflies in the stomach will motivate them to go to work with enthusiasm and a smile. It is also quite possible that their productivity will increase – as a result of the butterflies, they lose track of time and throw themselves into work… I got a bit carried away dreaming, didn’t I?

Let us be realistic – it is also possible that they simply count the hours until the end of the working day. Generally speaking, their behaviour in the situation is formed in a complex way and also depends on:

• Whether they need to keep their relationship secret, which can be exciting, I admit, but can also be a source of much tension. After all, there are companies that strictly prohibit any type of (family) relationships between their employees – brothers, sisters, spouses… What do those in love do in this case? They probably hide… for a while. Experience shows that secrets among members of a community – there are none. Then one of them has to leave.
• Or the organisation’s policies allow such cases to be resolved in an intelligent way, for example with a “Love Contract”, and no one has to hide.

As for the colleagues in the team: Statistics show that they usually have no objection to such relationships, they even encourage them. On one condition – that both participants in the intimate relationship are unattached.

Well, have you made a decision? Will you ask your colleague out on a date?